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YOU MIGHT BE A WOODHULL IF....
you've said you can't fire me, I quit
your
house is a wreck, but your garage is a showcase
you are NOT stubborn, you're just always right
you've used a flashlight
to light up your dash while driving
you fix your toilet with duct tape
your family drives you crazy-but you love them
all anyways
you never throw anything away
you're goodlooking-drink beer-and party alot
you have crooked teeth
you
own a zippo lighter
you've switched places while driving
you've ever hunted for change under the couch coushions as
a kid/or an
adult
not all your coffee cups match
you've gone shopping without combing your hair
your outfit for
the day is what you slept in the night before
your spring cleaning means renting a dumpster
your house attracts strays
your
cloths never go out of style
you can't resist any "fixer upper"
you've had to tell your boss off
you know the backroads
better than the freeway
the neighbors have called the cops on you
you like to listen to yodeling
you have x-tra cars
in the woods for back-up (oops-that's me)
your wife is younger than your daughter
your blood type is the same as everybody
elses
you've come to the reunion looking for a date
you've been in the Poplar jail-if they had one
your name is in
the matter of records in the newspaper
you think you can sing Karoke
you show up for the food and it's gone
you can
eat everything on the table, drink everyone under the table,
won't claim your own kids, and your wifes maiden name was
the same as
yours
you were the drunkest person at your wedding
you've ever worked at a bar doing something as sometime
you
concider raking your leaves a good wind storm
you are going to the bathroom and a cow moo's behind you
you think 4 bald
tires on an icy road is a winter sport
your favorit auto part store is the junkyard
cleaning house means throwing out
your husband
you confuse people when talking about your family
your idea of recycling is getting your relatives to take
home some of
your junk
you've practiced someone else's signature
you've got a good excuse for everything
you thought
"higher education" meant teaching your little sister or
brother how to party
your favorit expression is "we'll see"
you
have grease under your fingernails
you've been the life of the party-and gotton thrown out for it
all the cars you've
ever owned are still in the back yard
you can't find a date cuz you're all related
you've ever been chased by a wooden
spoon or frying pan
you do not have the ability to cook for under 20 people
you grew up thinking crust off the bread
would put hair on your chest
your day starts at noon
you really don't give a damb what people think
your animals
are as spoiled as your kids
you have the ability to talk to a stump
your lawn ornaments include broken down appliances
you've
ever sat in the car while your parents were at the bar
you like to have too much fun
you've mowed the lawn and found
a car
you have one set of plates for three cars
you sing to every song ever heard
getting dressed up means putting
on your good jeans-no holes
you've been brought home by the cops before you were a teenager
you do not have the ability
to shut up
you can make the rim of your drink glass play music and the waitress
takes it away
you sunk your truck
in the lake while ice fishing
you learned to swear before you learned the alphabet
If your old living room furniture
now becomes your new lawn furniture
you can drive an old beater for years, and it still starts right up even
when it's
20 below zero
you scream at your husband until he goes deaf
instead of hanging your trophy deer head, you hang the hind
quarters
you take Viagra like skittles
you've had a car engine rebuilt on your kitchen table
your vehicle is your
favorit deer stand
you've named your chickens
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